Fox News

Michigan hopes talking urinals will dissuade drunken drivers:

I couldn’t have made this one up if I tried.

DETROIT – Michigan hopes to keep drunks off the road with the help from a special message in men’s bathrooms featuring an attention-getting woman’s voice.

Talking urinal-deodorizer cakes have been distributed to Michigan Licensed Beverage Association members in Wayne County, including Detroit, state officials announced. A recorded message will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab or a friend, if needed, to get home safely.

The word is that the commissioners’ cousin Ralph was the guy that invented this contraption. He thought if it one night when he was taking a wiz behind some dumpster and he saw a drunk lady trying to get her key in her locked car door. After about five minutes of futile attempts and a lot of scratches on her door she gave up started screaming “piss on it, piss on it I am not driving this car, I’m too drunk”. Ralph immediately thought that would make a very catchy tune.

Ralphie has a distant cousin Lester in West Virginia that invented a singing toilet paper roll that reminds its customers to wipe before they run.

Lester and Ralph teamed up and are currently trying to sell some of the rolls to Michigan so all the WC’s users in the state can hear a duet while they are taking care of their business.

The guys are brilliant!