Fox News

Man charged in theft of dad’s corpse from cemetery:

Vincent Bright last name is definitely a contradiction to the Vinnie the person.

48-year-old Vincent Bright of Detroit is charged with disinterment of a body. He’s scheduled to make an initial court appearance on Friday afternoon in 36th District Court in Detroit.

It appears that Vinnie missed his dearly departed old man so much he decided to dig up the old codger and take him for a joy ride.

Vinnie “the corpse snatcher” contemplated taking the old fart to Micky D’s to take advantage of their weekend special ( 4 quarter pounders’ with cheese for the price of 2 – with double fries and a small diet drink for those who are watching their weight).

Being the senior Bright was stiff as a board and couldn’t open his mouth to eat; Vinnie decided he better put the old man on ice until he was feeling better, so he took him home and put him in his freezer for a few days.

Vinnie and his partner in crime Egor that jointly owe a gas station weren’t smart enough to get rid of the casket after they dug up the old man and they stored it in the station under one of the lifts..

A local cop named Angelo Bachagloopa was getting gas and noticed the empty casket that the pair were storing empty oils cans in and began making inquiries. The cop smelled in dead rat the their explanation which launched one of the largest investigation in Detroit’s history.

Trying to side track the cop and get on his good side, Vinnie and his pal asked the cop over for dinner that night; trying to schmooze the fuzz.

When Vinnie’s pal Egor opened the freezer to get out the “road kill” to put on the grill, the cop saw Vinnie’s old man’s foot pop up when the freezer door was opened. That was the dead give-away.

Under a very stringent and extensive grilling session Vinnie finally broke down and fessed up to the fact that he was “dying to see the old man again”.

The bright-side of this whole Bright Family saga is that the entire family is going to be taken in for a full scale evaluation to see just how bright they are.

I would venture to say that with the new guide lines Obama has in place for the mentally incapacitated, the whole Bright family will be locked up.