USA Today

Couple arrested having sex on Chipotle roof:

Michael “The Stud” Suh must have been a little short on cash and couldn’t afford to go to Motel 6 where Tom Bodett was keeping the light on for him and his “squeeze” Nicole.

NEWARK, Del. —police said Monday.

Michael “The Stud” Suh, 38, and Nicole “Nasty” Germack, 27, dubbed “the roof top lovers” in Newark and “horniest couple of the year” engaged in sex on the roof of a Chipotle restaurant where they were both arrested when an officer interrupted them as they were getting down and dirty.

Both of the roof top lovers were charged with indecent exposure, lewdness, loitering, resisting arrest on the roof of the eatery. I get all the other charges but loitering. They were both trying their best to stay very busy.

I never knew that “laying pipe” on a roof top was criminal offense. They were probably turned in by so old bitty that hasn’t had any “schaff” in years and sits by her window all day with binoculars looking for someone to turn in.

Cpl. James Spadola said “I couldn’t get that dude off of the chick. It was like, you know when you see two dogs stuck together”! “I had to hit the homie in the nuts with my night stick to get them separated”.

According to the cops, a man with Suh’s name resides above the restaurant but wouldn’t give up his suite to his cousin so he could take care of business. Michael Suh did the next best thing and took his gal to the honeymoon suite on the roof and sang to her as they were getting it on.

According to the embarrassed cops “The female was wearing a black dress that was pulled way up,” he said, adding that he didn’t have much information on what the man was wearing but his ghetto pants were well below his knees.

I understand from my contacts that the two lovers have already been contacted by a major smut magazine to give the an exclusive on their roof top romance. More to come.