Dallas Cowboys Player Arrested For Shoplifting Cologne, Underwear:

I always knew that some prima-donna athletes like Randle were grossly underpaid and turned them to a life of crime in order to survive.

Dallas Cowboys running back Joseph Randle is a great example of an under-paid jock who has a voracious, uncontrollable compulsion for stealing underwear and cologne. He was caught by the fuzz walking from a mall department store in a Dallas suburb Tuesday with the loot he stole on his person.

Randle, who is charged with a Class B misdemeanor theft between $50 and $500, was detained Monday evening by store security and later taken to the city jail before posting bond early Tuesday, Frisco police Sgt. Brad Merritt said.

Now listen sports-fans; we have to show compassion for under-privileged jocks like Joey. My heart goes out to this the poor kid. Just last year he signed a four-year, $2.3 million rookie contract with a base salary of $495,000 a season. What average citizen can make it on only 495 G’s a year? That is a tough assignment.

I think I am going to start a foundation to help Joey and the rest of the destitute thieves like him get over the poverty hump so they don’t have to steal in order to get by.