Truer words were never spoken


This was sent to me in an email by a friend of mine Russalino and I thought I would share it with The Goomba Gazetters.

Can’t add too much if anything to these analogies. If you are past 50 you will get the hint – if you are past 60 you can definitely  can see their merits and if you are past 70, by the time you get to the bottom of the list you will have forgotten what you just read.

xs           xx

THOUGHTS

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,

I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s ass anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while

A tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it  lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:

1.    I started out with nothing, and I still have most of  it.

2.    My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3.    I  finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4.    Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

5.    Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

6.    If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?

7.    It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

8.    Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant; the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

9.    I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.

10.  Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11.  Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12.  It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

13.  The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.

14.  If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.

15.  When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

16.  It’s not hard to meet expenses…. they’re everywhere.

17.  The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18.  These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter, I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m “here after”.

19..  Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

20.  HAVE  I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE…. ?

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About The Goomba Gazette

COMMON-SENSE is the order of the day. Addressing topics other bloggers shy away from. All posts are original. Objective: impartial commentary on news stories, current events, nationally and internationally news told as they should be; SHOOTING STRAIGHT FROM THE HIP AND TELLING IT LIKE IT IS. No topics are off limits. No party affiliations, no favorites, just a patriotic American trying to make a difference. God Bless America and Semper Fi!
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