If we can’t laugh at ourselves, we have a real problem.

This was sent to me my a friend AC so I though I would share it with the troops.

Thoughts of a Retiree’s          Wandering Mind I had amnesia once — maybe twice. ******************** I went to San Francisco . I found someone’s heart. Now what? ******************** Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. ******************** All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. ******************** If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle. ******************** What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free? ******************** They told me I was gullible and I believed them. ******************** Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up,he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway. ******************** Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. ******************** One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people. ******************** My weight is perfect for my height–which varies. ******************** I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure. ******************** How can there be self-help “groups”? ******************** If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? ******************** Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off. ******************** Is it me— or do buffalo wings taste like chicken? ********************           ********************** I am not over weight , I am just 8 inches too short.

My Commentary:

As bad as we think we have it at times, there is always someone else that is much worse off.

If you feel sorry for yourself, you are the only one that does.

When you feel bad about not having any shoes, think about the person with no feet.

Try to start off each day with a positive attitude and a smile on your face regardless of what happened yesterday. We cannot control yesterday but we can control tomorrow.

Always think of your basket as being half full instead of half empty. Your mental disposition is 98% of the battle.

Live and love each-day as your least; we never know.

Treat people like you want to be treated and it will be a better world. If you are dealing with an ignorant or violent person, act accordingly but act first.

Have a great day.

Little bit of humor:

The old timer went to the doctor for a checkup.

He was no sooner in the door at home when his phone rang; it was the doctor.

Bill, you better get over here tomorrow.

What’s the problem doc?

Couple bad things to tell you.

I will see you tomorrow.

NEXT DAY Doctors office

So what’s the bad news doc?

You have two severe problems. Which one you want to hear first?

Give me the worst one first doc.

Hate to tell you Bill, you have cancer – 4 months to live.

Holy shit doc, what is the other one.

You also have Alzheimer’s Bill.

Well when I look at it objectively, at least I don’t have cancer.

TKS Cousin

Happy Birthday BB – 101