Red was one of the best and funniest comics of all time. Best part; he never uttered one word of vulgarity.

He was very popular back when an entire family could sit down together and watch TV without being distracted with feminine washes and Viagra. We will call it the good old days.

Unfortunately, the kids today will never be able to experience that type of CLEAN entertainment with all the trash commercial and programs on the tube.

He was a brilliant comic that some thought to be a little off his rocker but the guy was a rock solid comedian and a true patriot of the USA.  He served in the Army in the entertainment unit during WW II.

This is his recipe for a long lasting marriage.

RED SKELTON’S RECIPE: For The Perfect Marriage:

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said “There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”.

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was ‘ Always’.

12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”.

He always ended his show with these words and  a big smile on his face. ; “And May God Bless”

I would go back any day!!

Scoop submitted by: Angelo S