NEWS FLASH: HOT OFF OF THE PRESSES FROM THE GOOMBA GAZETTE

Flash #1

Shocking the entire world; Bill’s wife just announced she is dropping out of the presidential race.  She said that she is throwing all of her support to Bernie Baby – shit caning Wild Bill – she and Bern are going to tie the knot ASAP. She would rather be the 1st lady again instead of the 1st skirt.

Flash #2

The Trumpster has seen the errors of his ways – is going to dump Melania and hook up with Megyn Kelly. Donny was overheard tell a close friend of his; if I can’t beat the broad I might as well marry her, then maybe she will give me the respect I so RICHLY deserve. 

You guys know I don’t