Stupid burglar of Chinese restaurant trapped in grease vent for two days

This highly un-skilled thief took the term carry-out to new lows.  The second-story dummy (name withheld), attempted to enter the Chinese eatery through the air vent on the roof to rob the place instead of doing the NORMAL break-in from the ground floor. 

Not a bad idea at the time he thought, BUTT the rocket scientist didn’t considered what he would do when he got to his exit point where he got stuck and could not get out.  When he attempted to crawl back out, the inner surface of the greasy vent was too slippery for his to navigate, making his exit impossible. The fool was stuck in the greasy vent for 2 days where he was found clinging to life with his entire body and lungs filled with Egg Foo Young and bar-b-q ribs grease.

His screams for help were muffled by the crying coming from the cats and dogs.

After being rescued by the local firefighters, reporters questioned the Second Story dummy, asking him what he thought of his attempted break-in. He replied; one thing for sure, I suddenly lost my appetite for  Chinese food. 

For the Second Story thief, he was awarded The Stupid Award of the year by all of the surrounding merchants.  

Liugi Bachagaloopa, a pissed off Italian restaurant owner was over head saying; What the fukka this negihborhood comin too; why I gotta locka the fronta doora?? These some-a-na-bitches are coming in through the roofa.  Some-a-na-bitches; figlio di una puttana!!!